I met Patience in 2007, two months after we had our first child. We were looking for a nanny and someone introduced her to us.

Patience was so committed to her job, she would show up on time for work and sometimes she would work longer hours just because she wanted to. She took care of our children like they were hers, she potty-trained them, helped with their homework and always made sure we came back to meet a clean house.

One thing I loved about aunty Patience (that’s what our kids called her), was her kind and generous nature. She would give to anyone – friends, family, neighbours – even if it was all she had and she did it without expecting anything in return.

One Christmas, she decided to buy gifts for our kids. She wrapped them neatly in small bags and brought them over to the house on Christmas Eve. I opened the bags and saw flip-flops (our Nigerian ‘bathroom’ slippers).

As she handed the bags to me , she said,

“Madam, abeg make una manage am. I know say no be dis kain tin dem de use do Christmas for pesin but na as my hand reach. I say make I jus do somtin for my children even if na small tin.”

She was simply saying, “I know this isn’t the appropriate gift for Christmas but this is all I can afford. I just wanted to get something for my children.”

She always called them her children.

I knew how much she earned – her monthly pay came from our pocket; I also knew that she had some of her family members who were financially under her care. She didn’t have to give anything to my children and I wasn’t expecting her to. She didn’t owe them anything but she just chose to do it because of the kind of heart she had.

You see, as humans, we are quick to assess our relationships and judge people’s level of love for us based on the ‘quantity’ or the ‘market value’ of the gifts we receive from them. We forget that while one may have given LITTLE out of the ABUNDANCE he has, the other may have given ALL out of ALL that he has.

This reminds of the story in the Bible about the widow and her two mites:

Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury and many who were rich put in much. Then one poor widow came and threw in two mites….so Jesus called His disciples to Himself and said to them,

“…this poor widow has put in MORE than all those who have given to the treasury, for they all put in out of their abundance but she OUT OF HER POVERTY PUT IN ALL THAT SHE HAD, HER WHOLE LIVELIHOOD.”

Though her gift appeared ‘small’, I could see Patience’ heart.
I knew that in there was a genuine willingness to give;
I knew it was a gift backed up by love;
I knew she wanted to be a blessing to my children.
I also knew that if she had the capacity to give more , she would have filled their room with more.

It’s been 8 years since this happened but I still remember because that simple gesture made me love her even more, not just as a nanny but as a member of our family.

Our bond grew over time and it still exists today because of a ‘thought-full’ gift.

The market-value of a gift does not always mean that the giver loves or does not love you. Sometimes we need to pay close attention to the thought behind the gift because it also counts. A lot.

As some of my funny Nigerians would say,

the gift is important but the thought is ‘importanter!’
😅😅😅