I love to sing. 

I’ve always loved singing. 

I know just a little about notes, keys, and all that music language. I also know that whenever I open my mouth and make an attempt to sing, sound comes out and it is quite pleasing to the ears! 

For a few years, I have sung in my church choir. I’ve also had the privilege of leading the worship during service. I call it a privilege because I understand the importance of congregational worship to God in songs, psalms and hymns. To me, the opportunity to lead God’s people in that kind of worship is an honour. 

Any time I am scheduled to lead, I have all kinds of nervous reactions going on in my body.  When I finally get on the stage, I start sweating on my palms, my heart skips a bit and does a little race, I take a deep breath and I whisper a prayer – “Dear God, please help me”, but as soon as I start singing, something else takes over and I’m literally running from one side of the stage to the other! Some days, my high-heeled shoes want to pose as a hindrance to my flow so I kick them off, right there on stage! If you know, you know! 

Recently, my local church started streaming service online – thanks to COVID-19. It was a welcome idea to me, until I realized that streaming online will mean having more viewers. 

“Chinazo, that means when you lead worship, a lot of people will see you, even those you don’t know.” 

That was me, talking to myself. 

I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. Agreed, I can be loud, talkative and hyper-active but taking pictures and doing video recordings of myself are not on the list of my favorite things (I remember nursing this idea of becoming an actress briefly but I wasn’t sure if I could handle the ‘lights-camera-action part of it so I didn’t let the idea stay on my mind for too long). I’ll rather stay quiet and work behind the scenes where I will only be heard and not seen. 

A few weeks ago, I decided to watch some of the sessions I did, just to see and hear myself sing. 

I was not impressed. At all. 

I noticed so many errors! My stage coordination wasn’t as organized as I thought, my voice sounded like I was screeching and the worst part – I didn’t know I was such a bad dancer! To think that I have been dancing like this all these years on stage….!!!!! MY GOODNESS! My hands flying around in reckless abandon, my legs six-feet apart from each other like I’m doing a traditional war dance! 

What-a-wow! 

That was when I realized I still have a lot of work to do. I’ve got to work on my voice, my stage coordination, my communication with the backups and instrumentalists and…….my dance steps of course!

I didn’t know all of this until I watched myself. 

You see, in life, it is our responsibility to tell ourselves the truth. We may have people around us who hold us accountable, however, there are times when they feel restrained to confront us with the truth because they don’t want to hurt us or make us feel bad about ourselves; and so, they prefer to remain quiet or they choose to focus on and encourage our positive sides.  

That is why we need to do the work by constantly looking inwards to pick out those habits that need to be thrown out of our lives. We need to identify the areas that require improvement, the things we need to learn, unlearn and relearn. We need to strive to become a better version of who we are per time. 

If you are a person of faith, like me, you know the Bible is our standard and there is a part of it that talks about the importance of renewing our mind. Our mind is really where our life happens. Like the famous Nigerian Media mogul, Mo Abudu, says at the end of one of her TV shows, 

“if you can think it, you can do it.”

We have to cultivate the habit of constantly checking our beliefs, mindsets and convictions, making sure that we are changing, growing and improving as we move on. God, through His servant Apostle Paul, admonishes us with these words in the book of Romans, chapter 12; verse 3:

“Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.” 

The world will be a better place if we take responsibility and purposely replay our video, observe our ways and make the necessary changes. 

The late singer and song writer, Michael Jackson, sang these words, 

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change.”

Someone else said,

“we are all work in progress”. 

Everyday is an opportunity to get better so seize the day! 

Talk to the man in the mirror!

Now, let me go and look for my church members! So y’all sat and watched me dance like that and not one person said a thing? Unbelievable!