A few years ago, I was performing an audit on myself and wondering why things where not happening as fast as I wanted. I was questioning my self-worth, my confidence level, my intelligence and my ability to become a ‘mover and shaker’ – whatever that means!

I stumbled on this group of women on social media. I listened to them. Trailblazers. In their late 30’s and early 40’s. Some in business, some as top officials in the organizations they worked for, some excelling in science and research. I said to myself,

“aha! These are the people I have been looking for all my life!”

And so everyday, I will visit their pages. Whatever they posted, I read. Videos? I watched!

It was like a daily ritual. I would wake up in the morning, do all I need to get my day started and then as soon as I hop on the bus, I am glued to their posts until I get to work.

There was nothing negative about these women. From their conversations, I knew that they were hardworking women who had integrity and who were determined to succeed. I felt that if I stayed around them long enough, virtually that is, I will find my way into living in a world like theirs. Some days, I fantasized on what it would feel like when I sit with these women, not just for mentorship, but to dine with them as well. Oh, how great that day will be!

Gradually, I started pushing myself. I set goals and I was deliberate in pursing those goals. Anytime I felt like taking a break, a voice will whisper,

“You may have to give the trailblazers an update on what you have been doing.”

Then I would jump and start working again.

I had actually coined a name for them – Trailblazers!

Of course, they were not expecting a feedback from me. How was that even possible? It was my mind. I had allowed my desire for their kind of success to overwhelm me to the point where I put myself under pressure to deliver results.

After years of going through these rounds and trying so hard to ‘get there’, one evening, as I sat to go through my day to know what I did or didn’t do right (it’s a habit I have had since I was a teenager), it struck me. These women live in different parts of the world and so the environment they operate in is different from mine. For example, most of them live in countries where they have easy access to help from family and if there is no family to help, they can get relatively affordable domestic staff. I didn’t have that luxury (as a Canadian mother of 3 children below 10 at that time, I was the driver, care-giver, cook, cleaner….name it! Any attempt to outsource these roles to paid employees will be disastrous to my bank account!).

I read their biography. I read about how they started, the financial and moral support they had, their professional qualifications. I analyzed all the details and said to myself,

“Chinazo, you need to slow down. I understand how much you want to “make it” but you have to understand the principle of TIMES AND SEASONS. Everything takes time and there is a season for everything. Look at your own life. Right now. Think about your history. Think about the events that have happened in your life till date. Look at your family dynamics. Above all, think about God’s purpose for your life.”

I sighed. My mind was speaking the right words to me. There wasn’t any need for all that stress and pressure.

It continued speaking.

“It is a good thing that you have found some kind of motivation from the lives of these women; however, you need to understand that everyone’s timing is different. Write a list of the things you hope to achieve and decide on how you are going to work towards achieving those goals, keeping in mind that true success is not achieved until you complete your default assignment; not the assignment you created for yourself but the one designed for you by God before the foundations of the earth.”

As I spoke to myself, I decided to slow down, not out of laziness or because I was giving up on my ability to be successful like them, but because I realized I was pursing a right cause in the wrong way.

I picked up my journal and wrote down EVERYTHING good I desired for my life. When I was done writing, I shut my eyes, clasped my palms together in prayer and spoke to God from the sincerity of my heart. I told Him how much I wanted these things to happen for me. I asked Him to guide me according to His plan because ultimately, it was His approval I desired the most. I asked Him to hold my hand and lead me. I wanted His own definition of success to happen for me.

That prayer of submission and total dependence on God was a game-changer for me. It took care of the worries in my head, the anxiety in my heart, the unnecessary comparisons and the pressure I had placed on myself.

It helped me to celebrate the success of others genuinely, praise them when they got it right, give positive criticism when I felt they could do better and offer my full support when they needed it. I became a better person and above all, I enjoyed peace of mind!

Here is what the Bible says about our lives and the plans we make:

“Commit everything you do to the Lord.
    Trust him, and He will help you.”

In 2021, while we draw inspiration from other people and desire to be successful like them, while we want to be mentored by those who have walked the path before us, let us remember that the best thing we can do for ourselves is to submit completely to that Supernatural Power that governs the earth, the Power that has the final authority because after all is said and done, we will stand before Him to give an account of the life He gave to us. You’d better believe this truth!  

Have an awesome 2021!