I saw a funny post from #StreetChurch a few days ago.

It read,

“Always resist the urge to shalaye” – Proverbs 10:19.

I quickly reached out to a friend to find out the meaning of ‘shalaye’. It is a word from the Yoruba-speaking tribe in Nigeria and it means ‘explain’ or ‘to explain’.

I checked the Bible to see how the word applied to this verse and I saw this:

“too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”

Wow!

As I reflected on this verse, I realized that there have been moments in my life where all I had to do was keep my mouth shut in order to save myself from sin, but as you know, my big mouth won’t let me be great sometimes!

I remember a sore argument I had with my friend, Noula (not her real name). Noula and I were former colleagues and we had reconnected on social media after a few years of not being in touch with each other. As we got talking, she told me about some of the things she was working on at that time and one of them caught my attention. I asked for more details and as she talked, I realized it was for a good cause so immediately, I informed her that I would love to be a part of it.

That was my first mistake. I didn’t ask for time to think it through and weigh it alongside the other responsibilities I had.

We started having regular conversations to get me familiar with the project. She also had friends on her team who were volunteers, just like me. We all got along quite well, though we had a few clashes – a normal occurrence when you work with human beings, right?

A year later, I decided to pull out of the project. I realized I had taken on more than I could and I wanted to shed off some responsibilities. I reached out to Noula.

“Babe, please bear with me. I need to pull out of this project for now, so that I can focus on other responsibilities. I’m doing so much already and I didn’t realize how much this would demand from me. It’s like I am everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I just need to sort out my crazy life and I will come back.”

“Why?” she asked, with a tone of anger in her voice.

“Haba Noula! Which one is “why” again? I already told you ‘why’.

She blurted, “you should have thought of all this before you joined us. We are already depending on you to handle a few assignments for us and now, you want to back out, just like that?”

I apologized and explained further, even letting out some personal information in the process but Noula refused to accept it. I became so upset and got into a verbal war with her. I was furious! It was not a pleasant one and let’s just say it didn’t end well. That conversation – or should I say fight – is one I wish I never had. Any time I think of it, I always say to myself,

“Chinazo, all you had to do was to stick to your first sentence and then shut up!”

What a shame!

A few weeks ago, I was accused of something I didn’t do. I was so hurt and I felt I had to defend myself. I explained but it seemed like my explanation was in vain so I swore, not in these exact words, but I said something like,

“may God deal with me if I am actually guilty of all that you have said!”

I said that to prove my innocence but that was a wrong move.

There was no need to swear.

No scratch that.

I didn’t have the rights to swear.

 I should have kept quiet or simply walked away, knowing that Truth needs no defense. It is what it is – Truth – regardless of what anyone says or thinks. I was so determined to prove my innocence that I forgot that sometimes, remaining silent is synonymous with being sensible.

From these two experiences and many more that have happened over the years, I have learnt a few lessons:

• Explanations are not always necessary;
• Think, and then speak;
• Truth does not need any kind of defense;
• ‘No’ is a complete sentence.  

I have learnt and I have asked God for forgiveness. I am still learning.

So, dear friend, this is what I would say to you today,

for your own good, stop ‘shalaye-ing’, especially when it is not necessary. You will save yourself from getting into trouble with the Holy Ghost!

May God help us all.