I attended high school in Nigeria.

There was this system of announcing form order results during morning assembly. Form orders were periodic tests and quizzes that students took during the term as part of their final grades for each school year. A day was set aside to announce the top three and bottom three students in every class during assembly. Yes, you read right! The results were called out in front of everyone – staff and students. 

I always thought it was a bit weird and I never looked forward to it, not because I was scared of being called out for poor performance  (I was fortunate enough to be in a safe spot academically, though I had my struggles) , but because something about it didn’t sit right with me, even as a teenager. It felt uncomfortable. 

I don’t blame the education system at that time though. It was probably a way of ‘motivating’ and challenging us to work harder, and maybe it helped some students to remain focused; but for some others, it left scars. Some of my schoolmates had a difficult time getting over the embarrassment and shame of being labelled as block-heads. 

As someone who struggled with grades in high school, I know the frustration of trying your best to boost those grades and not hitting your desired goal. I remember the nights I tried to study and all I could do was stare at my notebook for hours. Sometimes, I would memorize formulas and definitions just to save myself. I didn’t understand any concept, especially math and physics! Now as an adult, I understand what my real challenge was. I wasn’t a dullard or a lazy student. I was a smart Arts and Humanities student who lacked confidence because I felt I didn’t fit into what was considered the norm for identifying smart students – be in the Sciences!

Why am I sharing this?

I know there are kids today who have similar challenges. They act like they are clueless but behind that face is someone who has hidden potential. I hope that such kids can pause, take a deep breath, identify their areas of academic strength, find ways to build a good career out of it and pursue it fiercely. Seek help from career advisors, counsellors and mentors. There are so many career options today. Tons of options! Don’t give up on yourself just because you don’t fit into what society expects. You just need to find your path. 

To my fellow parents, I pray that we will be intentional about providing support for our children. That ‘nonchalant, lazy, playful, careless, laidback, unserious joke-of-a-child’ could be fighting internal battles that they can’t even explain.  Take a break from the other ‘important’ things you’re chasing and give your child some attention. Go through that phase with them. Check in, supervise, explain, correct, encourage, say it repeatedly if needed. If you need professional career support for your child or you’re not sure how to navigate this phase with them (because it is a phase and it will pass), I’m happy to provide some guidance. 

Don’t give up on your child.

Above all, dear parents, commit your child to God, the One who creates with purpose, the One who formed them in their mothers’ wombs and knows their end from the beginning. Ask Him for wisdom, strength and guidance for you and for them.

Pray for your baby.

All will be well.