Hello world!

Do you remember the story I shared about my fear for driving and how I overcame it? 

Well, there’s a second part of that story.

I finally completed my driving lessons and decided to do the road test so that I can get my license. I tried the first time, made a mistake and failed. Ordinarily, this should have discouraged me but no! As soon as I got home that day, I went online and registered again. 

I tried the second time and failed. Again! I was so angry! I needed that license so badly because I had a G1 license (what we will call a learner’s permit in Nigeria) and with that license, I was not allowed to drive alone, by law. I must have someone with a full G license sitting next to me so you can imagine my frustration when I failed the test the second time. 

I got home and did the same thing. I registered for the third time. This time, I passed! All of this happened within 2 months. I knew what was at stake if I didn’t get that license and that became my motivation to keep trying. 

Finally, I got the G2 license. It was valid for 5 years and after the fifth year, I was expected to pass another road test that would earn me the full G license – this one permits you to drive on the highway. 

Fear showed up again! I started having these conversations with myself:

“How am I going to drive on these highway routes with cars flying past like they are being chased by evil spirits?” 

“How can I remain calm while driving on a road with more than two lanes on each side?”

“I hear the Skyway bridge vibrates while you’re on it”

“I hear you use your brakes with caution while on the highway!”

“…and you have to go on a 90/100km speed per hour.”

These thoughts kept playing in my head.

One Saturday, I was getting ready to attend a Mothers’ Day brunch with some ladies. I was already dressed up in my white jumpsuit with my make-up and hair in place when I realized I had never been to that restaurant before. I checked and Google said I would have to go on the highway to get there. My palms became hot and sweaty! Suddenly, I didn’t feel like going anymore. I didn’t have the proper license, anyway. That was my excuse but in reality, I was afraid of driving on the highway.

Fear! 

Then I remembered that I had looked forward to this hangout all week because I wanted to dress pretty, step out, let off some steam and eat lots of meat, cake and sweets so badly! Boom! That became my motivation! I got into the car with my kids, dropped them off with my aunty Jacqueline and as I was about to leave, I asked her if there was an alternative route to the place. Yes, there was so I got my groove back on! It took me 30mins to get there. The highway route would have been 12-15 minutes. Whatever! I didn’t have the proper license anyway! Haha!

I had to find my ‘why’ again when my G2 license was about to expire. I was hoping I could renew without having to do another road test that will move me up to the full G license but the laws of the land won’t let me be great in my own way! I was afraid of the highway, especially the ones that connected the cities like the 403 and 401, so I delayed registering for the test until it was four weeks to the expiry date. Well, let’s just say I passed the test but that didn’t mean I had overcome the fear of driving on the highway. 

Then came this day – the day I finally broke free from the fear forever. A lady who is an alumnus of my secondary school had lost her mom. She lived 45mins away from me. The alumni group had scheduled a condolence visit. I indicated that I would love to be there as well. I was so confident that there will be someone to ride with but alas! I didn’t have a choice. I’ll have to drive. On 403! I checked to see if there was another ‘back’ route. There was but it didn’t make any sense to use it so, I decided to have a conversation with myself, 

‘Chinazo, just do this the first time and you won’t have to deal with this fear again.”

“Use your husband’s car. It’s smaller, you can maneuver with ease and you won’t feel the speed.”

“As soon as you get on the highway, start singing. Sing all the Anglican hymns you know and sing at the top of your voice. Sing as loud as you can until you get there. It will help.”

“Stay on the far-left lane. Don’t switch lanes even if the driver in front of you in crawling, just stay in that lane – for your own good.”

“Let the other ladies know that you are a new 403 driver so that they will be praying for you until you get there and back to your house.”

“It’s easier to do something the second time than the first, but there has to be a first time anyway.”

My people, sometimes, you need to have this kind of conversation with yourself. Believe me!

I don’t need to let you know that I made it! As you can see, I am alive to tell the story!

Here’s my point:

This thing called fear is likely to show up at every stage in our lives. It’s almost impossible for a human being to take up a higher and more tasking responsibility without asking, “can I really do this? Am I sure I can do this? What if I try and fail?”

As you rise in life, you will be faced with situations that will make you doubt your abilities and question your self-confidence.  One thing to always keep in mind at all times is your ‘WHY’. 

Ask yourself, 

“WHY do I want to do this?”

“WHY do I need this?”

“WHY is this necessary?”

“WHY?”

The value and interpretation you give to your “WHY” will determine how far you will go to make it happen. 

Conquer that fear. Find your WHY. You will succeed.