I always love to reconnect with my friend, Yvonne at the end of every year. Although we try to stay in touch with each other all through the year, we make sure we schedule a few hours within the last week to talk about our year, what we did right, what we did wrong and areas we feel we should focus on in the coming year.

Unlike the Yvonne I’ve always known, she sounded defeated as she spoke about her year.

“Its been a roller-coaster year, Nazo. The last 3 months have been the worst so far. I feel like a failure already. There isn’t any motivation to plan for 2022.”

“Haaaa! Not from you, Yvonne. You shouldn’t be the one speaking in this manner. You always have it figured out. You never allow any kind of negativity around you. You know how to attack such thoughts head-on”. 

“Yes, I thought so too but this last quarter was horrible. I was performing below expectations – whatever that means – in almost every area of my life. I made some wrong choices.  I didn’t do well as a mother, a wife, a family member, an employee, even as a human being! I was struggling to keep up with my responsibilities at home and everywhere else. My days start early and I finish late. At the end of each day, I am tired and worn out. My body is aching, my eyes are red; yet, there are no results to show for anything. Everything still looked the same, or even worse! If this is not the definition of failure, then what is?!”

“Easy, Yvonne.”

“Nazo, I tried to fight back and be on top of my game like I should but I couldn’t find the strength to so I stopped. Right now, I’ll rather accept that I am a failure so that I will stop expecting so much from myself. I feel so inadequate and irrelevant; I feel like I’m being tolerated at home, at work, and everywhere else. I feel more like a liability than an asset.”

Her words flowed. So did the tears. I could hear from the tone of her voice that she was tired. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.

“All I want to do right now is to go away; far away from the world where I am known to another world where no one knows me. I want to take a break and then, start life all over again; maybe this time, I will get it right. I’m tired, Nazo. I’m tired of trying!”

I couldn’t say a word to Yvonne. I didn’t know what to say and even if I did, I didn’t think it was the right time. All she needed at that time was a safe place where she could let it all out – the frustrations, the anger – everything.

For some of us, 2021 ended well but there are a few people who didn’t have a good start or a ‘happily ever after’ ending, like my friend, Yvonne. If your situation is the latter, I’ll share some thoughts with you, hoping that these thoughts will help you find strength to walk through 2022.

• It’s okay to fail. Cliche, right? But it is the truth. Give yourself the permission to fail. Seventy times seven. Even more.

• Admit that you have failed. No excuses or justifications. Beat yourself up. Yes, you read right. Beat yourself up before the world around you does it to you. That way, you become strong enough to take the punches when they start coming. Remember, the world will wait for every opportunity to beat you up repeatedly and if that opportunity doesn’t come to them, they will look for it. Intentionally. You need to be prepared for it.

• Forgive yourself. Your life is a journey and you are still on it. Failing is part of the trip so keep moving. Make a detour, a U-turn, reverse, take the roundabout, do whatever right thing you need to do. Just keep moving.

• Heal. It hurts when we fail, especially as we go over what we could have done differently, the counsel we ignored, the opportunities we missed, our lazy, nonchalant attitude,  the time we spent buffering, our ego and the extent of our foolishness! It is important to heal if you want to move forward.

• Be willing to share. Give people the privilege to learn from your mistakes. You gain nothing when you sit back and watch another fall on the same spot where you experienced your fall in the past. Save a soul and share.

• Never refer to yourself as a failure. No one is a failure. Yes, you failed, but failing doesn’t mean you are a failure.

By God’s standards, you are designed to succeed. While He formed you, He put every thing that is required for you to fulfill this destiny inside you. You have what it takes to succeed. You were created to excel, to triumph, to win. Any thing contrary to these is false and should not be accepted by you, no matter who tries to poke it in your face.

Hear what God says concerning you:

“For I know the plans I have for you….they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Your end is designed to be good. You were created to succeed. Think about this truth. Ponder. Meditate on it until it becomes your reality.

Welcome to 2022! This will be your best year so far!